I also finally went to see Mariah and Sam in Chicago. It was the best time in my life and I am wanting everyday so much to just get back to the city. Mariah is such a beautiful person and I am so lucky for her to be in my life. She made Chicago amazing. We baked cookies and watched movies and went to Trader Joes. I've never had a friend like her.

It's been awhile

I'm living now and I've changed so much. I can't sum up these past seven months. I've finally learned that it is okay to have real relationships with other people. I met a ginger boy. But I am leaving soon so I know we shouldn't get too close. I try to fuck it up. But he likes me too much for something silly to change how we are. I wish I could just give him all of me but I don't think I will ever do that. He makes sick beats. He holds my hand. He is so good. I don't ever want it to end. But I keep thinking that it should. I think I should stop being so scared.